Helping the Elderly

Background:

Our tradition calls for the children to take care of their parents as they age due to the fact that there is no pension for those who don’t work in public offices. Being the last born, my mother had chosen me to take the responsibility of looking after her to the end. Everything was going on very well until 2018 March when I relocated here for ministry together with my family. My mother’s health changed for the worse.

 

Her health started deteriorating and there was increased immobility, poor hygiene, poor nutrition and general health decline – all the things that come with ageing. She was frequently visiting her doctors almost on monthly basis. She developed depression. She spent most of her time alone and helpless.  She wasn’t eating meals in the right time and even so, she wasn’t feeding on the right (nutritious) food. Unfortunately, those around her thought that that was all normal because she was old.

 

By the end of 2018, I was wrestling with the decision I had made to be away from her and didn’t know if I was going to continue in the ministry.

 

The opportunity of going to people’s homes, health care units, seniors’ homes, nursing homes and hospitals on my pastoral visitations here provided me some insights on how people of her age were living in terms of health care, feeding, hygiene and so on. I was enlightened and I quickly implemented some of the the ideas equivalent in our setting which made a profound change in her life and my ministry. As a result, her routine of visiting doctor’s office changed and complaining of pain reduced greatly. She passed on a Happy lady last October.

 

One other key aspect that we found to be utterly important in addition to the above, was the social aspect. She had begun losing touch with her Spiritual close friends and social acquittances which to a greater degree was the cause of her depression. We were compelled to organize some social activities with both her friends in the surrounding locality from which we later discovered that almost all of those who met regularly were undergoing similar challenges as my mother if not more.

 

By mid 2020 we started receiving requests for help from a number of widows from nearby who were closely attached to my mother either through faith, neighborhood or just social friends, especially those who had observed the change in her life and desired the same change from their dire circumstances. 

 

Hope and I decided to identify 10 widows that were living way below poverty line, and we dedicated some little moment monthly specifically for moderate nutrition (minimal) and hygiene. This quickly made a tremendous impact in their health, social, emotional and spiritual well being.

 

Due to desperate need, the number of those looking for help increased to 15 but we did not increase the funding. Although that was not the right decision, we were compelled to go that way owing to the evident level of destitution.

 

We were advised to register our assistance with the Local Government to avoid misconceptions and misunderstanding. Although there have been requests to increase the number beyond 15, we have constantly turned it down due to lack of sustainable financial capacity.

With the inflation and recession hitting globally, our help continues to become smaller and smaller and losing value in the midst of desperate need.

 

In addition to their own personal dire circumstances, they also undergo a burden of extended family living. Some of them are taking care of their grand children left with them by their fallen children, hence exacerbating their conditions.

 

This isn’t only a miserable ending of their lives but also hurts their long-lived spiritual and social commitment and are derailed that the God they have believed and served their entire life is abandoning them in the end.